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What's stopping you reaching your potential?

What you believe about yourself may be limiting you and therefore holding you back from setting goals and carrying through with plans for your future. 

We can become stuck in a rut, comfortably miserable, unable to motivate ourselves and deeply unhappy with our lot in life. 

Ask yourself, what limits are you placing on yourself?  Have you longed to change something about yourself or your circumstances but lacked the conviction that you “could” change them? What’s holding you back? 

We learn about the world in childhood and form beliefs about our part in it. Whatever we believe gets acted out in our behaviour. So, if you believe that you’re not good enough, your self-talk will consist of negative statements about yourself, such as,  “I never do anything right.”  “I’m so stupid.”  “I have to please people to get them to like me.”   You will find it difficult to hold personal boundaries and end up saying yes to most of the requests that people ask of you. You become a ‘people-pleaser’.  Your own needs or wishes get pushed away down the list because you don’t feel that you deserve to be happy. 

You become comfortable in your rut, but comfortable doesn’t mean contentment. It may mean the opposite, a deep sadness and resentment of others who you see as doing the things that you believe you “can’t”.  You constantly focus on your weaknesses. Try to keep your flaws in perspective and remember that people with a high level of confidence have just as many weaknesses as people without confidence but they concentrate on their strengths, not their flaws or weaknesses. 

Counselling can help you look at these limiting beliefs objectively and challenge them. So, you might consider some questions. 

  • How do these limiting beliefs affect your mood? How do you feel? 
  • What affect does it have on you both mentally and physically? 
  • How do you behave as a result of holding these negative beliefs? How true is it that you “always” or “can’t” do something? Are there times when you do something that disputes this belief? Then it can’t be true that you “always” act this way  because “sometimes” you behave differently.   
  • What meaning does the limiting belief have in your life?  Perhaps it protects you from taking risks.
  • What is the cost involved in changing the belief? 
  • What would you be doing differently without the belief? 

When you accept yourself as you are in the here and now you can begin to look at what it would mean to live your life in the future without the limiting belief. 

If this has resonated with you in any way, I would love to meet you to work with you to facilitate any changes you would like to make.  

For a confidential consultation please contact me at karenmooreni@gmail.com




 

28 Comments to What's stopping you reaching your potential?:

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The Online Counselling Service on 02 March 2013 19:19
This is a great post Karen, we intend to share it with our followers on Facebook.
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Karen Moore on 03 March 2013 18:30
Thank you for your comments. I hope your readers find it interesting. Regards, Karen


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