Anxiety such a Worry?
We live in
an era where we are bombarded with news of natural disasters, terrorist attacks
and world events that threaten our peace and security. These are streamed to us
electronically 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Fear is a
natural human response to enable us to deal with threatening or dangerous
situations. Our brains are hard-wired to keep us safe. When we perceive
something that is threatening our safety our bodies go into action. Adrenaline
gets pumped into the bloodstream and muscles.
There are times in life that I like to call 'trapeze moments', when you need to let go of one thing before reaching out and grabbing the next. The scary bit is the 'mid-air' bit between the two. What if you misjudge it? Do you even have a safety net?
Let's look at it from a different perspective. Metaphorically speaking, what experience do you have on a trapeze? Have you trained? Have you been here before? What was that like? Scary? Exhilarating? How did it work out? Did you successfully fly through the air and grab hold of the next trapeze or did you land in the safety net?
During the first few years of
life the ability of a mother to be attuned to the needs of her infant is
crucial to their development. Failure at the early stages to create a sense of
safety results in insecure attachment as research by theorists such as Bowlby
and Winnicott tells us. However, from a secure attachment to a primary
caregiver the child learns how to build relationships and feel safe in the
world. To provide a safe environment a
parent needs to create boundaries – to be mindful of when the child is going
too far and may hurt themselves or when they need to be encouraged to try new
Eating Breakfast - A bowl of ‘fruit and fibre’.
The first thing I did was lift out a raisin. I looked at it, examined it from
all angles, felt the weight of it as I moved it from one hand to another. The
texture, how hard it was. I then tasted it with my tongue which registered a
slight sweet taste. I put it in my mouth and felt it sitting on my tongue. I moved it
around my mouth and felt it softening. I squished it slightly with my teeth and
noticed the taste more, how soft it was becoming.
believe about yourself may be limiting you and therefore holding you back from
setting goals and carrying through with plans for your future.
become stuck in a rut, comfortably miserable, unable to motivate ourselves and
deeply unhappy with our lot in life.
yourself, what limits are you placing on yourself? Have you longed to change something about
yourself or your circumstances but lacked the conviction that you “could”
change them? What’s holding you back?
When I meet
with a client for the first time I might ask, “Why are you here?” “Why now?”
“What do you want to get out of working with me?”
I’m trying to annoy you with endless questions but as a means of identifying
how best you can use your time and energy, and let’s face it, your money, to get the
best out of your counselling experience.
It’s a bit
like starting on a journey. Unless
you’re on a mystery tour and someone else is in charge of the destination you
generally know where you want to go.